Smart Stuff

In California everyone goes to a therapist, is a therapist, or is a therapist
going to a therapist.
Truman Capote
In California you lose a point off your IQ every year.
Truman Capote
Californians invented the concept of lifestyle. This alone warrants their doom.
Don Delillo
Southern California, where the American Dream came too true.
Lawrence Ferlinghetti
Nothing is wrong with Southern […]

If the national mental illness on the United States is megalomania, that of
Canada is paranoid schizophrenia.
Margarett Atwood
When I was there I found their jokes like their roads - very long and not very
good, leading to a little tin point of a spire which has been remorselessly
obvious for miles without seeming to get any nearer.
Samuel Butler
In […]

Cannibals are not vegetarians. They are humanitarians.
Anon
These ferocious cannibals captured a poor missionary - he gave them their first
taste of religion.
Anon

A salesman is the foot soldier of free enterprise.
Anon
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the
inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.
Winston Churchill
Capital and labor should be one - but which one?
Evan Esar
If capital and labor ever do get together it’s good-night for the rest of us.
Abe […]

Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, “Be fruitful and
multiply.” But not in those words.
Fred Allen
I’m in a phone booth at the corner of Walk and Don’t Walk.
Anon
I wanted to see my name in lights, so I changed my name to Walk Don’t Walk. Anon
There are no liberals behind […]

He neither drank, smoked, nor rode a bicycle. Living frugally, saving his money,
he died early, surrounded by greedy relatives. It was a great lesson to me.
John Barrymore
Monotony is the awful reward of the careful.
A. G. Buckhan
In skating over thin ice, our safety is in speed.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I never dared to be radical when young
For […]

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become known, then wears
dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen
The top of a pinnacle now, firewood soon.
Burmese Proverb
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people they think
it’s their fault.
Henry Kissinger
On any morning these days whole segments of the […]

As we see censorship it is a stupid giant traffic policeman answering “Yes” to
“Am I my brother’s copper?” He guards a one-way street and his semaphore has
four signs, all marked “STOP.”
Franklin P. Adams
Persons who undertake to pry into, or cleanse out all the filth of a common
sewer, either cannot have very nice noses, or will […]

A reasonable probability is the only certainty.
Edgar Watson Howe
Confidence is a plant of slow growth in an aged bosom; youth is the season of
credulity.
William Pitt The Elder
Certainties are arrived at only on foot.
Antonio Porchia

Happiness is not the end of life; character is. Henry Ward Beecher
The more peculiarly his own a man’s character is, the better it fits him.
Cicero
People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of
character.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Genius is formed in quiet, character in the stream of human life.
Goethe