Smart Stuff

When all else fails, try Wales.
Christopher Logue
“To a Friend in Search of Rural Seclusion”
There are still parts of Wales where the only concession to gaiety is a striped shroud.
GWYN Thomas
Punch, 1928

Join the army, see the world, meet interesting and exotic people, and kill them.
Anon
I don’t know what will be the most important weapon in the next war, but I know what will be the most important weapon in the war after that - the bow and arrow.
Anon
quoted by Joseph Wood Krutch
And we are here […]

Water, water, every where,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
“The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”
Water is H2O, hydrogen two parts, oxygen one, but there is also a third thing that makes it water and nobody knows what that is.
D. H. Lawrence
Human beings were invented by water as […]

A group of politicians deciding to dump a president because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for not going to church on Sunday.
Russell Baker
If [president Nixon’s secretary] Rosemary Woods had been Moses’ secretary, there
would be only eight commandments.
Art Buchwald

The weak have one weapon: the errors of those who think they are strong.
Georges Bidault
I hate victims who respect their executioners.
Jean-Paul Sarte

After a debauch of thunder-shower, the weather takes the pledge and signs it with a rainbow.
Thomas Bailey Aldrich
Heat, madam! It was so dreadful that I found there was nothing for it but to take off my flesh and sit on my bones.
Sydney Smith
A visitor to Dr. Schweitzer’s hospital in Africa noticed that there were no […]

Outside every fat man there is an even fatter man trying to close in.
Kingsley Amis
No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.
Covert Bailey
Of course we all know that [William] Morris […]

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.
Francis Bacon
It is the wisdom of the crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour.
Francis Bacon
Knowledge dwells
In heads replete with thoughts of other men;
Wisdom in minds attentive to their own.
William Cowper
No man can be wise on an empty stomach. George Eliot
There are many things of which […]

Old-fashioned ways which no longer apply to changed conditions are a snare in
which the feet of women have always become readily entangled.
Jane Addams
A home without a woman is like a barn without cattle.
African Proverb
…girls are so queer you never know what they mean. They say No when they mean
Yes, and drive a man out of […]

Professionals built the Titanic, amateurs built the ark. Anon
If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done. Anon
Retirement means twice as much husband on half as much money. Anon
I do most of my work sitting down. That’s where I shine.
Robert Benchley
No one ever listened himself out of a job.
Calvin Coolidge
Plenty of men can […]